Shut Up, David Brooks

bloviate me!

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Tom Friedman’s questions are always rhetorical, and the answer is always, ‘no thanks.’

Even compared to other Tom Friedman columns, today’s is just awful.  Right from the get-go:

DOES America need an Arab Spring?

Hmmmm, let me think.  Um, HELL NO?  Tom, I know the Acela sucked, but this is kind of an overreaction.  I will spare you the rest of the first paragraph, in which Tom calls up his buddy Frank Fukuyama and asks him 

a very radical question about America’s political order today, namely: has American gone from a democracy to a “vetocracy”…?

God, I hope that is exactly how that conversation went down.  ”Hey Frank, Tom here.  Listen, I got a very radical question for you…”  I have a very radical question of my own, which is, why the hell would anyone give Tom Friedman their phone number at this point?  You just know when he asked Krugman for his digits, Paul was all, “sure, it’s 212-555…”

Anyway, I digress.  What actually happens is Frank drops some nonsense on Tom and Tom spins it into like six paragraphs of completely terrible ideas.  Shocking, yeah, I know.

“But we forget,” Fukuyama added, “that government was also created to act and make decisions.”

I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN that, you guys!  This is probably because I am a lady, and the government lets me make so many decisions that it’s almost like I forget they’re there!  

Tom Friedman is worried that the government is not deciding enough things for us, so he thinks we should give that decider-ing ability to a “small supercommittee” of deciders.  

I know what you’re thinking: “That will never happen.” And do you know what I’m thinking? “Then we will never be a great a country again, no matter who is elected.” 

So just to recap, Tommy began by asking whether we should have a populist revolution and concluded by suggesting that the government is too transparent and power should be concentrated in a small group of veto-proof insiders.  Because, you know, at least the trains would run on time.  What a wanker.

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